Here
are my comments on a review of Wendy Morgel's book – The blessing of a B minus.
http://www.essentialkids.com.au/younger-kids/kids-behaviour-and-discipline/10-signs-youre-over-parenting-your-child-20150724-giir54.html
While the book is against parents who are
controlling and over-parent, the so-called helicopter parents, the advice
shared in the article is still focused on getting your child to meet your
expectations rather than supporting his autonomy. An appreciation of Dr Ross Greene's
CPS, will allow parents to work with their kids and set limits with their kids
so both concerns, the kids and the parents are addressed by mutually satisfying
solutions.
1 Mogel
suggests freedom should be granted based on a child's demonstrated
responsibility and accountability.
Why
not work with your kid and collaborate so that your concerns for safety, moral
values etc and your teenager's concerns will be addressed by a mutually
satisfying solution.
2 Instead
of critiquing everyday marks, appreciate your child's persistence and hard work,
Instead
of Praising hard work and persistence, try to help the child focus on
what he is learning and develop a love for learning
3 - You
find it hard to say No .Work up the courage to say no, is Mogel's advice. You
don't always need to reach a consensus.
Saying
No = being controlling unless you have a very good reason is not optimal
parenting. There is no problem in reaching a consensus if the parent's concerns
are being met.
4
You do everything for your child
Are
you doing everything what you want your child to do when the child should be
doing what you want from them? Or could
you be supportive and helpful and promote the child's autonomy and
interdependence.
5 You try
to fix the child. 'Don't fret over or try and fix what's not broken.'
Yes,
but why focus on the kid and say she needs no fixing and just say focus on your
relationship and be supportive.
6 You talk more
than you listen
Good advice here, she says parents should listen
x 4 than they speak
7. You leap
quickly into alarm mode
She says don't be alarmed if the kid does not make the hockey team ,
see it as a challenge , maybe be less controlling and say being in the hockey
team is not that important.
8 You let your child quit quickly
This
implies that you should be more controlling and not let the kid quit. Although
she says that you should hear your child's concerns and consider them, why not
try to address these concerns so the child will be willing to continue.
9
and 10 -You constantly compare your kids with others- Your child has
no time to play – no problem here
