Collaborative problem solving and values

It is important to convey to kids the values underlying words like CPS, talking, listening  and choices.

Kids often have difficulty in moving discussions in the direction of collaborative problem solving and not negotiation.  They will try to get the best bargain for themselves. So when it comes to sharing a computer with a sibling they will try to get the best deal - something close to a 100% access.  Anything less than a 100% is a compromise, it is giving up on what they would consider the optimal solution to address their needs.

When kids, parents, teachers and other care givers engage in collaborative problem solving they are also expressing values and beliefs.  It is a belief that we can consider the perspectives and concerns of all and try to address them  in a collaborative way by finding mutually satisfying solutions and work for the common good. Kids need to learn that best solutions are win-win , solutions that all can live with and not the  solution which that gives you the most. Successful negotiators know that they need to work towards a win-win but will try to first get as much for themselves as possible. Collaborative problem solving is different. We don't ignore our concerns , we just start with the concerns of others.

The problem also revolves on how we relate to ' choice'  -  individual choice or the choice of a people, friends or community . When we engage in cps, it seems clear that what must occasionally be restricted is not choice but individual choice. Cooperation opens up the way to so many more opportunities and choices despite the fact that individual choice may be compromised in some areas. We need to talk in the plural – we need to , or our problem , our choices.

Sometimes when we get stuck in the cps process, we need to show kids that the solution we offer does address their concerns in some way or at least elements of their concerns.  This helps them to be more flexible and adaptive.

Talking is more about sharing information rather than trying to get what you want. Listening is more about caring , giving the other person all your attention and empathy.  When try to address both our and the other's concerns by brainstorming mutually satisfying solutions or making a compromise – a bit of give and take we take caring a step further.

It is important to convey to kids the underlying values behind collaborative problem solving. If care givers just see it as technique that will help them get compliance or what they want , self centered values will be taught. But if talking is about sharing, listening is about caring , and solutions are worked out by collaborative problem solving and not negotiation we further reinforce the very values needed for CPS. We also need to reframe how we view choice – solutions and choices that further the goals of the family and it 's individual members or just individual choice.

Recognitions – Behaviorism & Self Determined Theory/ CPS

A Canadian school district – New Brunswick is using Self Determination Theory to promote mental  fitness of students. In a poster the needs for 'competence, autonomy and relatedness' are also presented as recognition=competence, choice= autonomy and belonging= relatedness. 

The words choice and belonging can be used in a discussion about autonomy and relatedness. Recognition however , may impact on 'perceived competence'  but in the absence of meeting objective needs for competence ,  giving recognition is more about  behaviorist practices , extrinsic motivation  than SDT .

Competence

(Recognition)

'I have abilities, strengths and gifts that are recognized by myself and others. When I use them to meet goals and help others I feel a sense of accomplishment and worth.'

I have reservations about using the word recognition.

 Recognition is another word for verbal rewards like praise, awards or actual rewards given in recognition for ' good jobs'. The problem with recognitions is that they are judgmental and controlling.

The idea is that when we ' catch children being good' and   we  recognize their achievements , behavior is reinforced , and they will be encouraged to behave and do well at school.

There is also the belief that children do well if they want to.  They have an 'inner wealth'  which  is hidden by a lack of motivation ,self esteem or belief. All one needs to do is change a kid's perceived competence by praising them as much as possible and creating an illusion of success by setting up the kid to be successful.

The question is asked -  should we not recognize ' excellence', provide feedback and encouragement. ?

We can respond without any evaluative comments about the kid and focus on what the kid is doing – the process, being very specific on what we notice, asking the kid questions like ' why did you decide to end the essay this way or how did you feel when you helped your friend.

Typical school recognitions are done in public, focus on the kid, often using comparisons /competition to encourage other kids as well. Phony praise with lots of energy is used as a deliberate strategy.  Instead we can show warmth, support and encouragement by being genuine.

According to CPS , the  collaborative problem solving approach – children do well if they can . They are not doing well , not because they lack ' perceived competence' , but actually lack skills that enable them to be more flexible and adaptive in school settings. If we want kids to have ' mental health fitness '  - they need to be competent and have the skills needed to be successful. 

Actual competence is the meat , perceived competence is just the spice.

According to SDT , the less extrinsic motivation we use and the more we use ' understatement' , neutral descriptive language we leave room for the kid to come to his own conclusions . This allows him to  internalize the message and  thereby become  more self determined and intrinsically motivated.

Relatedness

(Belonging)

I feel that I belong and am connected to important relationships that support and encourage me. I also support and encourage others in spirit and action.

Perceived competence also fits in here. Feedback, support and encouragement are  very much part of a caring community. Kids need to feel they are accepted for who they are, rather than how they behave or how well they do academically. This is what we call ' unconditional acceptance and love. Typical school recognitions give the kid a message that they are only valued when they perform  -  acceptance is contingent on their behavior.

It is great to talk about values such as community and belonging, but schools need the structures that give expression to this.  School structures are usually competitive and focus on the individual. In a co-operative learning environment, where there are no grades or ranking kids against each other ,  the structure promotes belonging , relatedness and caring

Autonomy

(Choices)

'I have a voice and I am able to make decisions about things that are important to me and others. Others support me in my choices'

Traditional schools and parenting sometimes talk about giving choices. The idea is that when you give choices , kids are most likely to comply with teachers' demands.  Here giving choices is what CPS calls Plan A – adult will.  Do it my way -   A, B, or C.  Choices that give expression to autonomy are not pseudo choices , but like the ones described in the poster -  giving the kid a chance to generate choices , not just choose from options provided by teachers.

Making learning relevant , learning by doing

Teachers are often looking for ways to motivate students to be successful in school. Unfortunately they rely on extrinsic motivators like grades or  a little bit better helping kids to redefine their ' possible selves '. Kids are shown that brain size and intelligence is something one can change through effort . So  having a ' growth mindset '  makes one more resilient and helps one to overcome obstacles , setbacks and realize personal aims and goals , therebby realizing ' their possible selves' .


This approach ignores the ' intrinsic value ' of learning and education and just sees school as a stepping stone to higher education, a job , or a diploma.

Kids can be very motivated by these personal aims and goals. But when the goal becomes the sole motivator , there is every  reason why kids will avoid challenging assignments and even cheat in order to get a good grade or diploma.

In a school environment where there is little choice , teachers can still focus on helping kids be intrinsically motivated to learn by showing how the learning is relevant to their lives, interests and needs. In an article quoted below ' Avi Assor ' says that Choice is good but relevance is excellent.


Assor et al, Choice is good , relevance is excellent



'The emphasis on relevance-fostering as an important autonomy-supportive

behaviour is consistent with Ryan and Deci’s (2000; Deci et al., 1996) view concerning

the contextual features that promote the experience of self-determination in schoolwork and other human activities. Thus, self-determination theorists do not necessarily

assume that most school activities should or can be intrinsically motivated (see Deci et

al., 1996). Rather, they view many of those activities as having an extrinsic origin.

However, they also assume that, under autonomy-supportive conditions, those

activities can be internalised, and therefore can be experienced as fairly autonomous

despite their initial extrinsic source.

To foster the relevance of schoolwork for children, teachers need to take an

empathic-active role in relation to their students. This role requires the teacher first to

understand students’ goals, interests and needs, and then to link school tasks to those

goals, interests and needs. The emphasis on an empathic-active approach that aims to

enhance the relevance of schoolwork is consistent with Ryan’s claim that adolescents’

need for autonomy should not be identified with the need for independence, and

certainly not detachment, from parents (Ryan, 1993; Ryan & Lynch, 1989).'

WE need to create a school environment where kids can generate their own choices and are guided by teachers who help them make their learning meaningful and relevant.

So to summarize we need CHOICE and RELEVANCE to foster kid's intrinsic motivation for learning.

But if we take a look of the Deci & Ryan definition of to be self- determined , we see that ACTIONS , and freedom TO DO is important.

' To be self-determined is to endorse one's actions at the highest level of reflection.'


'When self determined people experience a sense of freedom to do what is interesting , personally important and vitalizing'


Too often school is a passive activity , throwing back information when taking ' standardized tests' .

Deborah Meier said – ' teaching is mainly about listening and learning is mainly about talking' - and through the process of collaboration kids can ' construct modern knowledge ' by doing and most important construct their own meaning and relevance. Kids not only Learn by Doing ,  experience and produce learning, but find the activities meaningful and intrinsically motivating. This is why Project Based Learning PBL is the way to go

Project Based Learning - You tube




It is unlikely that teachers can pass on a love for learning in an high stakes standardized testing environment , but at least in the lower grades teachers can focus on real learning and try to make learning relevant to kids . It thus becomes important to share how SDT principles are implemented in the classroom. Here is a recommended blog post by Josh Stumpenhorst.


Resigning from teaching

Allan

Kids perceptions / Choice - selection or construction SDT and CPS

Parenting imho should be concerned with the kid's perceptions. I often remind myself and others that we are dealing with their perceptions and not their behaviors. We need to try and see their world through their eyes. Kids can make meaning of what we do to them and how we respond. ' It is not what we teach them , that matters but what they learn ' - Alfie Kohn. Often when we think that they need to be taught a certain lesson that their behaviors are unacceptable, they learn another lesson , - their mistake is being caught and their perception that parents or adults are unfair is reinforced.




But kid's perceptions can be exploited to support more controlling types of parenting especially in certain cultural settings. See the appendix Unconditional parenting by Alfie Kohn



If we place importance on children's perceptions without relating to what kids objectively need for their development , kids will not be receive the kind of parenting and teaching they deserve, an education which will promote academic, socio-moral and emotional development .



Some  kids may be less adversely affected by physical punishment because they perceive it as parental concern and love. But the question is even if a child could reconcile acts of aggression ( even without anger ) as a act of love and attention is it a good thing for kids to learn that love can be expressed through violence?



How do kids come to perceive violence as an act of love. When physical punishment is the only alternative to indifference kids learn to take what they can get. The same can be said about praise. If conditional acceptance is the only possibility, kids will drink it in and even say that they wish they'd gotten more. And when researchers ask these kids about how their parents treated them or if their parents loved them or they felt loved unconditionally they will give positive answers. They would see parental control and punishment as supporting the need of relatedness.



According to SDT , Self Determined Theory rewards would have a positive effect on perceived competence and hence intrinsic motivation if we could neutralize the controlling nature of rewards. If kids perceived competence means that kids see themselves , the self as an object as ' smart ' or A students they are likely to avoid challenges , seek out easy tasks and be less engaged in learning indicating a adverse effect on intrinsic motivation.



What about kids' perceptions of autonomy. Now most parents and kids don't know what the word means , maybe something to do with independence. ' To be self determined is to endorse one's actions at the highest level of reflection. When self determined people experience a sense to do what is interesting , personally important and vitalizing.' - Deci and Ryan. It is about being connected to your inner core , being reflective and experiencing a sense of freedom.





Now many parenting books recommend giving kids choices as a strategy to get kids to do want you want. So good advice would be to first connect with your kid and then ask him whether he wants to eat now fish , meat or salads. We want the kid to come to the table and eat his supper , he will want to exercise choice so he will choose ' meat' and come to the table. This seems to be the middle of the road type of parenting or authoritative parenting. The permissive parent will ask if the kid wants to eat supper , the authoritarian parent will order the kid to come to table to eat supper and to eat what is put on his plate.



There is a different way – CPS collaborative problem solving. Kids are encourage to participate in planning and problem solving by ' generating choices ' . In this way they express their autonomy and relatedness by addressing both concerns – theirs and parents when they attempt to find mutual satisfactory solutions.



When parents offer choices and it does not matter if the choice is between 2 or 20 options , it is still Plan A , it is still the adult plan , do it my way and my way is A, B, or C , choose one of them. Allowing a kid to do what ever he chooses Plan C does not necessarily mean that the kid's choice is made at the highest level of reflection. Plan B is where reflection and expression of autonomy and relatedness takes place.



With Plan A the kid is choosing from choices the parent or teacher has generated. With Plan B kids are the origins of their choices , they are the ones who generate choices.



Alfie Kohn makes this point in his article ' how to create non-readers'

http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/nonreaders.htm



Supporting their autonomy isn’t just about having them pick this over that. “The experience of self-determination is not something that can be given to the student through the presentation of an array of teacher-determined options (e.g., ‘Here are six books; which do you want to read today?’)”[9]. I think there are two insights here.

The first is that deeper learning and enthusiasm require us to let students generate possibilities rather than just choosing items from our menu; construction is more important than selection.

The second is that what we really need to offer is “autonomy support,” an idea that’s psychological, not just pedagogical. It’s derived from a branch of psychology called self-determination theory, founded by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, among others. To support students’ autonomy is to meet their need to be in control of their own lives, to offer opportunities to decide along with the necessary guidance and encouragement, to “minimiz[e] the salience of evaluative pressure and any sense of coercion in the classroom” and “maximiz[e] students’ perceptions of having a voice and choice.”[10]



A kid may have a perceived sense of autonomy when he is able to ' select ' a choice from options given by his parent or teacher , especially when he has been accustomed to have been given absolutely no choice in the past. I doubt whether the selection/choice is accompanied by an endorsement of one's actions at the highest level of reflection.

Kids will not be receive the kind of parenting and teaching they deserve , an education which will promote academic, socio-moral and emotional development if we rely only on their perceptions of autonomy , competence and relatedness.


Allan